we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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