Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
