my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
