I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
