i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
