I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
