in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
