I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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