I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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