This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just had sex on a roof
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
