She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
