Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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