You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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