the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
