Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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