im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
