can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
