Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
