I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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