Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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