I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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