Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
