Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
