Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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