i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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