Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
