the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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