i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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