i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
