I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
