I hate your face
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
