Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
