'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We are all done wearing pants today
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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