You just made me feel so damn special
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
