just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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