I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
