Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
