I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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