Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
