I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
