i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
