And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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