i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
