I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
