Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
