I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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