it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
