I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
A bitchslap is in order.
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