we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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