ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
