Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
