Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
