i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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