Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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