Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
